Of Puppies And Kittens
by Infernal Dolphins
Summary: Naruto and the Akatsuki find abandoned pets that look oddly like each other.
1. Chapter 1

**OF PUPPIES AND KITTENS**

Naruto was walking along the streets of Konohagakure. It was a good day. He ate a bowl of ramen for breakfast. Tried to ask Sakura out. Drowned his rejection in more ramen. And so on.

But now he heard noises.

From the alley next to him.

So he walked down the alley. . .

And found. . . .

A cardboard box with puppies in it!

"Aw! You guys are so cute!" Naruto yelled.

Naruto took the box to his home and began noticing the puppies' appearances. One was covered in dark fur with bright orange on his face that was constantly pestering a blond-furred puppy with a lock of hair falling over one eye. A reddish-brown puppy was looking on indifferently while another one with black fur on the right side of his body and white fur on the left remained in the corner. A light blue pup with gill-like markings on his face sat next to an entirely black dog. A silvery puppy yipped at random towards a dark brown pup covered with scars and stitches. An orange dog hid in a shadowy corner of the box while a blue-furred pup sat nearby.

All ten puppies equals one Naruto realizing how large of a box he just carried.

And effectively wondering how he'd ever be able to take care of ten puppies by himself.

Naruto walked towards the door and pointed at the puppies, which, despite their incredible cuteness, had a glint in their eyes that told him they were more than capable of destroying his home. Particularly the blond pup, who Naruto made a mental note to keep well away from gunpowder in the future.

"Stay here and _do not _destroy anything," he muttered.

"So you just adopted ten puppies?"

Sakura and Naruto were having a heated argument on how Naruto would take care of ten puppies. Kakashi sat by calmly reading one of his books while Sai drew quietly.

"Yep! And that's where you come in! You take care of some puppies and I take care of some puppies! Maybe Kakashi can take some." said a grinning Naruto.

Sakura stared at her teammate as if he had suddenly proposed that he was going to eat nothing but ramen for the rest of his life. Which, if such a thing did happen, wouldn't surprise the Medical Ninja at all. Just as Sakura was about to say that Naruto had about as much ability to take care of dogs as a rock when he said, "Please, Sakura! You haven't even seen them! They're so cute!"

Sakura rolled her eyes in annoyance and followed the Number One Knucklehead Ninja to his apartment.

And the puppies had, thankfully, not destroyed anything. But the black-and-orange pup was running around in circles at Mac 20, thanks to a now torn open bag of sugar in clear view. And, for whatever reason, within reach of the dogs.

Sakura glanced at the puppies critically and felt something nudge at her memory. The auburn puppy resembled Sasori of the Red Sand to some extent. The blond pup was similar to the Akatsuki's long-range explosion addict, and if she looked closely, the Medical Ninja could see a light gray patch of fur covering its left eye that somehow reminded one of his scope. And the entirely black dog had scarlet eyes that mimicked Itachi Uchiha's Sharingan.

Could some type of Jutsu have trapped the infamous Akatsuki Organization in puppy forms?


	2. Naruto Never Listens to Sakura

_A/N _I don't own Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, the Akatsuki, or any of the puppies. . . I wish I did, though, that would have been cute. . . oh, and I don't own anything else mentioned, this is purely fan-made,etc. And thank you, Mistress Reveina, for your comment. It helped me overcome momentary writer's block. Please favorite & comment!~

"Sakura! I just realized something!" yelled Naruto.

"What is it?"asked the Medical Ninja.

"There's only nine puppies! I must of accidentally counted a tenth one. . ." Naruto looked around for a while.

Over the week, he and Sakura had named the puppies after the Akatsuki due to the resemblance, and all hell had broken loose. Naruto was thankful for the fist ten minutes that he had left the puppies alone to get Sakura, for none of them had caused much damage. But now the dogs did virtually anything they could to destroy the apartment besides 'doing their business' indoors.

Seriously, it was as though they were actual people. . .

But that had to be impossible, right? Who in their right mind would use a Jutsu that turned serial killers into adorable puppies?

"No, I found Zetzu-puppy! He was in the corner!" Naruto gestured carelessly towards the area where Deidara-puppy was about to be eaten.

"Naruto," began Sakura, "isn't it odd that the puppies act like they can actually understand us? Not to mention that they never poop indoors. . ."

"Nah, they're just smarter than Akamaru."

Kiba, who happened to be listening from outside the room, showed up and yelled a few very creative words. Naruto ignored him.

"Who wants to go on a walk, puppies?" the Number One Knuckle-Headed Ninja asked. Sakura knew that if she tried any further to suggest that the puppies were anywhere close to the real Akatsuki, the most she'd get out of Naruto was how cute each dog was.

Yeah, she was getting nowhere.


	3. Tobi Finds Sixteen Cats

Deidara was spending his spare time blowing stuff up. But mainly Tobi.

"Ah! Sempai! Why are you trying to make Tobi explode?!" yelled the orange-masked, hyper idiot as he ran in circles to avoid the pyromaniac's bombs. "Tobi's a good boy!"

"Shut UP, un!" grumbled Deidara. However, just as he was about to send some clay birds towards his teammate, Tobi yelled.

"Deidara Sempai! Tobi found kitties!"

Deidara begrudgingly went towards Tobi. . .

to find some kittens in a cardboard box.

Clambering all over his generally useless teammate.

Oh, the fan girls would be overwhelmed by the scene.

"Deidara Sempai! Tobi thinks we should bring them to the hideout! It would make Hidan and Itachi smile!" The former was true enough until the cats were sacrificed; the latter was beyond wishful thinking.

"I don't _care, _un," muttered the pyromaniac. True enough, he could care less if Tobi took the kittens with him, as long as they had the sense to stay away from his belongings.

As soon as they got into the hideout, Tobi began yelling.

"Zetzu! Tobi found kitties! They're so cute! Tobi's gonna name them and take care of them and teach them to roll over and play dead and sit and lie down and beg and find Jinchuriki and help Konan make paper flowers!"

The kittens didn't seem to agree with Tobi. One black kit leaped out of the box and hurled itself at Itachi with claws raised. A blond-ish cat mewed at a pink one while a gray cat looked on in obvious boredom and another blond one hissed. An auburn cat sat in the corner with a more sensible blond kitten and a dark brown cat trotted towards Sasori's puppets happily. Another black cat pounced on Konan's paper before searching for paints. Three brown kittens sat by while another two thick-furred black kits mewed energetically at each other. ANOTHER black kitten stared intently at a spider while a blueish-black one gazed at the first blond cat and yet another black cat slept. The last cat, a somewhat chubby brown-furred, sat by and did virtually nothing.

"That one reminds me of the One-Tail Jinchuriki, un," said Deidara, pointing towards the auburn cat.

" The blond one looks like the Nine-Tail Jinchuriki," said Kisame through a mouthful of shark teeth.

"Why does it like my paper so much?" asked Konan, referencing the black cat that was pouncing at a pile of paper while attempting to paint with ink-dampened paws.

"Hn," murmered Itachi as he pulled the other black kitten off of his cloak while it curled up and hissed in anger.

"Can we (BLEEP)-ing sacrifice them already?" snapped an impatient Hidan.

"Hidan, shut UP!" yelled Kakuzu while throwing the sleeping black kitten at his partner.

"WAIT! Tobi has an idea! We can name them after the people we keep fighting! Isn't Tobi a genius?"

If looks could kill, Tobi would be at his own funeral. Repeatedly.

At this point, the ink-covered cat produced a number of small lion-like creatures on paper, which, with a meow from said kitten, leaped out of the paper and attacked Hidan, who was already wrestling with the sleeping kit on him.

"WHAT IN JASHIN"S (BLEEP)-ING SAKE ARE THESE (BLEEP)-ING CATS STILL HERE FOR?!"

"Hidan, shut UP!" repeated Kakuzu as he threw the ink-covered black cat.

"Tobi's gonna name this one Naruto-cat," said Tobi as he picked up the first blond cat, "and this one Sakura-cat, and this one Kakashi-cat, and this one Saskue-cat, and this one-" Tobi went on and on until he had finally named all sixteen cats.

"Do we really need to take care of these cats, un?" grumbled Deidara as his eye twiched.

"Keeping them would help us learn to be more patient with each other," said Leader.

"FINE, NOW GET THESE (BLEEP)-ING CATS (BLEEP)-ING OFF ME!"

"Hidan, shut UP!"


	4. Kakuzu Can Talk

Deidara could not stand living with the cats. Sasori could, assuming the animals kept well away from his puppets. Tobi absolutely adored the kittens, even when they shredded his Akatsuki cloak and clawed his limbs until he needed stitches from Kakuzu, complete with charge and interest.

Kisame often caught some of the kittens climbing onto his shoulders and the hilt of Samehada, even though he usually ignored them. For all anyone knew, Itachi didn't even know the cats existed, besides the occasional tolerance from the Sasuke-cat that spent his first ten seconds inside trying to attack every square inch of the Uchiha.

Hidan could occasionally be seen grumbling about not being able to sacrifice the kittens. Kakuzu was thankful that one day the cats would be old enough to catch mice and not cut into his budget.

Zetsu never said anything regarding the cats, but Hidan swore that he saw the Akatsuki's Venus Fly Trap petting a few kittens.

Leader never said anything about the kittens. Konan liked to pet every last one of the cats.

"Deidara Sempai! The kitties are hugging Hidan Sempai!" yelled Tobi happily one morning.

True enough, Hidan was cursing loudly, fourteen kittens attached to his limbs by their teeth and claws. Shikamaru-cat was still sleeping and Sasuke-cat was ambushing Itachi.

"Why do we keep these cats, un?" grumbled Deidara.

"Because Leader agreed to it," replied Itachi indifferently before returning to his coffee.

"Hidan, shut UP!" yelled Kakuzu for the umpteenth time that week. No one tried to keep track of how many times he'd said that.

"Does he say anything else?" mumbled Sasori. "For all we could know, he could be a puppet or a Chakra Clone."

"Then what would happen to the real Kakuzu?" asked Kisame. Seeing as Kakuzu was the only person who had a decent amount of medical experience, everyone would be sort of screwed if Kakuzu disappeared.

"I AM the real Kakuzu, you freaking-" Kakuzu split off into very creative words as he threw some cats at the Shark-Man.

"The wonderful (BLEEP)-ing sound of people in (BLEEP)-ing pain because of those (BLEEP)-ing cats!"

"Oh, for the love of- Hidan, SHUT the (BLEEP) UP!" Kakuzu yelled, looking around in anger for a nearby cat.

"This is where we run for our lives, un," whispered Deidara.

"Kitties! Tobi needs to leave now!" yelled Tobi.

Every cat looked up and either meowed, hissed, or attacked Itachi and Hidan in farewell.

Once everyone sensible – and Tobi – had left the room, very loud hissing could be heard from the cats and very loud and colorful words from Hidan.

Shikamaru-cat was still sleeping. Sasuke-cat was currently attached to Itachi's cloak.

"Deidara Sempai! Tobi thinks that the kitties like Hidan!"

If looks could kill, Tobi would have been dead some 38 times in one week.

"Ah! Sasuke-cat! Deidara Sempai's scaring Tobi!" Tobi shouted while prying said cat off of Itachi and raising him in front of his face as a shield.

"Hn," muttered Itachi, taking back Sasuke-cat before the feline could shred Tobi into pieces.

Deidara sneezed violently. "I hate cats, un."


	5. Snakes and Slugs and Toads, Oh My!

_A/N : _HAPPY SUMMER PEOPLES! I got out of school on May 30! SO HAPPY! Anyways, thank you to Princessbinas for the contained idea (I'm sorry if I changed it a _little _bit). And now, Naruto vs. Akatsuki vs. Sugar-high Rabbits!

"Puppies! I got food~!"

Ten puppies leaped onto Naruto, knocking the wind and a bag of dog food out of him.

"OW!" he yelled, rummaging in his pockets for the key to his ramen stash. He really needed something to lift his spirits. Kiba had proven that Akamaru was smarter than half of his dogs.

At least Konan-dog, Leader-dog, Kisame-dog, Itachi-dog, and Sasori-dog were smart to some degree.

Upon getting to his stash, he found Tobi-dog.

With every ramen package torn open.

And so Naruto walked to the ramen store, unaware of the Akatsuki member following him. . .

And so he took a shortcut through an alley. . .

And Naruto found three freaking rabbits.

"BUNNIES!" yelled Tobi, leaping towards the bunnies.

"Oh mah gawd!" yelled Naruto, grabbing a kunai from his pocket. "Oh mah gawd, oh mah gawd, oh mah gawd!"

"Don't hurt the bunnies!" yelled Tobi. "They're too cute!"

Awkward silence. . .

"You wanna help me with the bunnies?"

"YAY!"

When they got to Naruto's apartment, they named the bunnies. One was covered in black fur and was constantly glaring at the other two, so they named it Orochimaru-bunny. Another was albino and was staring at the third rabbit's chest, so they named it Jiraiya. Said third bunny was named Tsunade because they couldn't think of anything else.

"What now ?" asked Naruto in boredom.

At that moment, Tobi-dog leaped onto Naruto and effectively triggered a literal dog-pile.

"OW!" Naruto repeated.

Tobi went towards the door and said, "Tobi will leave now."

"I wanna die. . ." grumbled the Number One Knuckle-headed Ninja as the rabbits joined in on the attack.

Some time later, Tobi chased Zetsu and was talking nonstop about the bunnies.

"And they were so~ cute, Zetsu! Tobi likes bunnies! Especially fluffy bunnies!"

"Tobi, I think that all rabbits are a bit fluffy," said White Zetsu.

"No they're not," scoffed Black Zetsu.

"How would you know?"

"Because Tobi knows nothing."

"Tobi's a good boy; be quiet."

"TOBI FOUND A BIRD!" yelled the Akatsuki Hyperactive Idiot.

"But maybe you're right. . ." muttered White Zetsu.


	6. Konoha vs Animals

_A/N _Thank you to everyone who supported this random FanFiction. I'm planning on making this my second- or third-to last chapter, so . . . yeah. And I'm getting a little concerned that the quality of my chapters are dropping. . . And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. . . KONOHA vs. NARUTO'S PETS!

"NARUTO!"

Naruto flinched. "Yes, Lady Hokage?"

"Why are there rabbits and dogs running around in the village?!" demanded Tsunade.

"I don't know! They were _supposed _to be in my apartment!"

"Then go find them. NOW."

After the Number One Knuckle-Headed Ninja left the room, Tsunade sighed and reached for a bottle of sake.

"I'm gonna try and drink this off. . ."

In the meantime, Naruto was busy herding dogs and rabbits.

And failing epically.

"NO! Deidara-puppy! Don't go near those-"

Naruto couldn't finish his sentence because several fireworks slammed into him and knocked him over.

"Naruto, this yours?"

Naruto looked up to see Kiba holding all three rabbits.

"Kiba! You found them! And the puppies. . ." he dropped short when he saw that all ten of the pups were sleeping. Somehow.

Once they were back at Naruto's home, Kiba told the unpleasant news.

"Naruto," said Dog-Boy, "As much as I like dogs, the puppies are getting too old for you to take care of all of them. The best thing to do would be to just let them loose in the forest or at a shelter."

"What?!" yelled a shocked blondie. "But what about the rabbits?"

"And the rabbits," Kiba sighed.

"But they're just puppies!"

Kiba gave up and left, Naruto still freaking out.

"And then he told me that I should get id of the bunnies!"

Naruto was crying in front of Sakura at the ramen shop. And from what she could guess, her teammate found Tsunade's stash of alcohol.

"Naruto," said Sakura carefully, "That might actually be good advice."

"NO! Not you too, Sakura!" he yelled tearfully.

Then Naruto ran into the street and found Gaara.

"Gaara! I'm in need of a bromance! Happy Valentines Day!"

Gaara showed whatever emotion he could in a WTF face and walked off slowly.

"Okay, then. . ." muttered Sakura as she dragged Naruto back to his apartment.

"NARUTO. Stop drinking. You're gonna get killed one day," said Sakura when they arrived. However, Naruto had already passed out.

"The least you could've done was tell me where the sake was. . ." she grumbled.


	7. Cats vs Breakdown Hidan

Deidara's eye twitched in annoyance. He had just opened a bag of clay, and cats sprung out. Somebody was going down; _no one _went near his exploding clay but himself.

"Sasori!" he yelled into the next room.

"What is it?" replied the puppet master, carving a miniature wooden puppet.

"I'm going to kill Tobi, un," said the pyromaniac.

"Good luck." Tobi was virtually immortal. Comic Gold.

"Ah! Sempai! Why are you trying to make Tobi explode?!" yelled Tobi, running frantically to avoid the bombs falling rapidly at his head.

"Because you let those cats near my clay, un!" Deidara called from his flying bird.

"Tobi's sorry, Sempai!"

"Deidara!" yelled Kisame, who had suddenly popped up.

"What, un?" Deidara yelled towards Kisame.

"Leader wants to see you and Tobi now!"

Once everyone got to the Leader's office, it was pretty clear that something major was going to happen. There was a grim air around everyone, save for Tobi.

"What's Tobi doing here?" said the masked hyperactive idiot.

"Tobi," said Konan. "It's time that the kittens go away."

"What?! NO!"

"Just look at Hidan," mumbled Kisame.

"Can't sleep. Cats will eat me. Can't Sleep. Cats will eat me. Hehehehe . . .. ." Hidan slowly rocked back and forth on the ground, with bloodshot eyes and a nervous twitch. Even Kakuzu didn't yell for him to shut up.

"Fine. Take the cats." Deidara picked up Sakura-cat and tossed her at Konan.

"NO! Sempai!"

Tobi was dragged out of the room by Kakuzu, who honestly didn't care about the cats anymore.

"So . . . all for sending them to a village or to the forest?" asked Sasori.

"Aye," replied everyone.

Look at me; I haven't been on here for months. Writer's Block and boredom, I guess. Anyways, this is going to be the second- or third-to last chapter. I feel so lazy for writing short chapters.


End file.
